


Not a Messiah, Just a Mess

by Social_Resistance



Series: Wrong Side of Paradise [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Mob, Always Female Tony Stark, Angst, Baby Peter Parker, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fem!Tony Stark - Freeform, Female Tony Stark, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 05:45:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15902079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Social_Resistance/pseuds/Social_Resistance
Summary: Five people who saved Toni Stark in one way or another, and one time she saved herself.





	1. Maria Stark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni learns a very important lessons from her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I know it's been awhile.I hope you enjoy this second installment of what is now a series! Warnings for this chapter include referenced/implied child and spousal abuse. Specifics can be found in the notes at the end. Please read the end notes for an important message.

Maria sat at her vanity, carefully applying layers to cover up the newest bruise along her jawline. Toni was playing at her feet, carefully taking apart a remote-control car, sporting a bruise of her own. Her cheek was an ugly, mottled mix of purple and blue. The bruises along her arms had faded to a sickly yellow, and Maria knew she would have to insist on a sweater, despite the city’s dry heat.

After patting the powder into place, Maria turned her head this way and that, gazing at her reflection in the mirror. The bruise was covered perfectly. With some blush and bronzer, no one would even notice the discoloration at all. She had honed her craft, over the years. Her eyes fell to her own foundation and concealer. They were paler than she had been years ago. Maria used to have a natural tan that many in their circle of friends envied. With a laugh she’d always told them that was all thanks to her Italian blood; no tanning bed required. Those were the days, when she was young and would travel all around the world. Then Maria met Howard and...well, the rest was history.

None of her makeup matched Toni’s skin. She’d inherited the warm tan skin from both sides of the family. Unfortunately, Maria was prepared for this situation. Opening a drawer in her vanity, she withdrew the properly colored foundation.

“Toni, darling...come sit with me,” Maria spoke softly.

The little girl looked up and grinned at her mother. Maria loved the light inside her little girl, that bright, shining...almost innocence, that radiated from her smile and her eyes. It was something she hoped the girl would keep, in spite of what life had thrown at her...and what it still might.

Toni carefully climbed onto the vanity with Maria’s help. Her little legs swung through the air, as she waited for her Mama to get everything ready. She watched her mother take out the magic yellow cream that made all her dark bruises disappear.

“Stay still, sweetheart,” Maria instructed. Once she received the nod from her daughter, she began to gently apply the yellow concealer to the tender bruise. Every now and then she’d brush across a particularly painful spot, and Toni would wince. Maria didn’t have it in her heart to reprimand her. Her baby shouldn’t even have these bruises. She should be a better mother; be better able to protect her daughter. Instead she’d been reduced to this.

“Mama?” Toni’s little voice brought Maria out of her thoughts.

“Yes, darling?”

Toni looked down, her fingers knotting together, fidgeting, Howard always called it. “Can...Can we leave?”

Maria relaxed and nodded. “Of course, why do you think we’re getting ready?” _Why do you think we’re covering our bruises?_ “We’re going out to lunch, and then we’ll go to that cafe with the little chocolate cake you love so much.”  

Toni gnawed on her bottom lip in yet another bad habit Howard hated. “No Mama, I mean...can we leave...here? Go somewhere else? Without Daddy.” Her voiced dropped at the end to a near whisper.

And looking into those brown eyes, watery, wide, and innocent, Maria didn’t have an answer. She couldn’t tell Toni that her father was mixed in with the criminal underworld, and that, should they attempt to leave, there were many dangerous men who owed him enough favors to find them and take them out...or worse, bring them back. She didn’t know how to explain to Anotinia that staying here was the only way Maria would be able to protect her. That here, Maria could easily throw herself in front of Howard’s fists, whereas outside these walls the threats were nebulous. Maria knew Howard, she could read her husband.

Better to stick with the devil you know than the one you don’t. And the world was full of devils. Devils who would want to hurt her daughter just because of her name, and what she represented. Men who, in a poor attempt to get back at Howard, would harm Toni. Might go so far as to kidnap her for ransom. It wasn’t as though there hadn’t been attempts before.

Because of all this, they stayed. They stayed because Maria had no resources of her own anymore. Everything was in Howard’s name. She and her daughter had nowhere to go.

And so they persevered.

Maria placed the powder brush down. Her hands reached up, trembling slightly as she carefully cupped Toni’s cheeks. “Toni, I need you to listen to me.”

Looking far too serious for her young age, Toni nodded.

Maria pressed a kiss to the girl’s forehead. It was as much as gesture of comfort as it was an attempt to compose herself. Her daughter was too young to bear this weight, but if she was going to survive and more importantly, thrive, than she’d have to learn.

“We can’t leave right now, Toni. Now’s not the right time.”

“Why not?”

Maria had to close her eyes against fresh tears. The question was plaintive, innocent, weak. The mother forced her tears away and continued on in a soft but firm voice. “Your father…” she stopped and tried again. “Antonia, we are surrounded by very powerful men. Some are stronger than us, some are bigger, others are able to control others and get them to do what they want…” she leaned down and stared right into her daughter’s eyes. “But do you know what they’re not, baby? They’re not you. And you, tesoro...You are smart. You will be smarter than any of us. I know it.” Maria believed Toni would surpass even her father.

“Is that...is that why Daddy doesn’t like me?” Toni squeaked out.

Maria felt visibly sick, but she shook her head. “Your father...deep down, I believe he cares for you, for us, but he is not a well man.” How did one explain this to a child? How was she meant to tell her daughter that her father was a part-time criminal, and a full time drunk bully? “He is a bad man, Antonia. Most of the men around us are very bad men, and very powerful. Sometimes it is one in the same.” With gentle brushes of her fingers, she wiped her daughter’s tears away.

“But these men, they fight big, Toni. They fight strong. _You_ must be stronger, tesoro. Like iron. And you must fight smart.” Maria held Toni’s face between her hands. “Because that is the only way you will beat them. And you, Toni, will be able to beat them. You are strong enough, in here,” she gently tapped the girl’s chest, just over the spot where her heart lay. “And you are smart enough here.” Another tap to her temple. “To survive, and eventually, beat them all, do you understand?”

Because Maria couldn’t get Toni out of this. She didn’t think she would ever really be able to pull off an escape, or effectively turn on Howard. But she could do this. She could bolster her little girl and give her the strength and support she needed to make it through this life.

Toni nodded slowly.

“You must promise me,tesoro. Promise me that no matter how bad things are, or how many men you must fight, you will not give up.”

“I promise, Mama.”

“Good girl.” Maria finally pulled Toni into her arms and kissed her head. “Never forget that women, no matter the circumstances, always fight smart.”

“Yes, Mama. Men fight big, women fight smart.”

Maria closed her eyes and kissed Toni one last time. For now, this was all she could give her.

It would have to be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is set in one room, where Maria Stark is covering up bruises Howard gave her, and doing the same to a child!Toni. I really wanted to start this series for scenes I think are important to the overall story of Toni, but may not fit in the main story line easily. This series will show how Toni came to be who she is, and I hope more insight to why she makes the decisions she does. Also, quick shoutout to my martial arts instructor who always told me I'd have to "fight smart", took a spin on his words for the story, though I think it holds true. 
> 
> PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE:  
> Thank you so much for your support for this story. Eventually I'll get a regular uploading schedule, but in the meantime I'm very grateful you all keep coming back. Some of you have been very observant in the comments, and have pointed out things that are either on the right track or 100% correct. I'm also thinking about creating a tumblr in order to take requests for stories you guys want that I may not think of in this universe. Please tell me how you feel about that.


	2. Natasha Romanoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Natasha saved Toni.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a long time, I know. One of these days I'll get a regular uploading schedule. I don't know how many of you are reading this anyway. A chapter of ABAP should follow this relatively soon. Warnings for the chapter at the bottom notes. There's a lot more to Natasha and Toni's relationship that will be revealed as we go, but I had this scene in mind and it didn't fit naturally anywhere, so here it is!

Natasha hadn’t heard from Toni in days. When she asked Steve about her, he’d only said she was sick. It was the same excuse; Every. Single. Time. She had enough. Part of her began to think that Steve had finally snapped and killed the poor girl. But wouldn’t that be better in some ways? The child (because that’s what she was, and Natasha refused to let herself forget that) would finally be free of all this. If there was paradise beyond the mortal plane, Toni Rogers definitely deserved it.

When attempts to text failed, she turned toward the Bartons next. Barney was out of town on a run, so he was of no use. The redhead didn’t even consider contacting him, because when it came to Toni, Barney had a bit of a blind spot. He could forget the job and get distracted, or just up and come home. That wouldn’t be good for anyone.

Clint told her he hadn’t been allowed to go upstairs, because Steve didn’t want him getting sick and spreading it through the outfit. Nat could tell the boy didn’t like that. If she had to guess, he hadn’t listened to the order. Thick as thieves, Toni and Clint. It would be cute if it wasn’t so dangerous. Clint was around the same age of Toni, even if he hadn’t realized it yet. Then again, maybe he knew more than he let on. Regardless, Clint wasn’t telling her anything.  

Smart boy.

So, that left Natasha herself. Without telling Steve, she went to the house. On the outside, everything appeared normal. She noted the flowers in the far corner of the yard; the ones that weren’t reached by the sprinklers, were wilting a bit. That would check out, if Toni really was sick enough to stay in bed for this long.

But.

Natasha knew about Steve’s…attempts, to start a family. She also knew without asking how Toni felt about that. It was what led the girl to try and run. Toni didn’t make it very far. That didn’t make the offense any lesser in Steve’s eyes. The attempt was damning enough. He’d chased her down himself, brought her back into his home. Presumably, his attempts at gaining an heir resumed.

So if she was really sick, why didn’t Steve have Bruce at her side all hours of the day? Why hadn’t he pressed her to go to an actual, fully licensed doctor for a checkup to see if she was actually pregnant? Having a family currently (apparently) meant everything to him. A legacy, he called it. Steve took risks, but they were always calculated. He wasn’t an idiot.

Natasha’s knuckles touched the wood of the bedroom door in a gentle knock. “Toni?”

Holding her breath, the woman awaited an answer. She could hear the shuffling of blankets, the slight creaking of the mattress, before finally…

“Nat?”

Toni didn’t sound good. In fact, she sounded exhausted. Her voice was raspy and weak. Without warning, Natasha opened the door and stepped into the room.

“Hey,” she approached the bed and perched on the edge. Her eyes took in Toni’s huddled figure, hoping to perhaps catch a glimpse of what might be wrong. This proved difficult because Toni didn’t turn to face her. The girl was huddled under the blankets, only the barest slip of a silk shoulder strap peeking through. “What’s wrong?”

“M’sick,” Toni whispered her reply. “You should go. Don’t want you getting sick.”

Natasha didn’t understand why Toni wouldn’t face her. She’d seen this girl bloody and bruised, sobbing and literally retching. What could she be hiding?

“I bet some fresh air would help,” Nat cajoled. Her hand twitched, but she resisted the urge to stroke the girl’s dark hair.

“I’m fine here.”

Natasha frowned. That didn’t sound like Toni at all. Normally she wanted to get out of this room. “Come on. Nothing fancy. Just me and you. We can hang out on the porch. It’s really nice out.”

“No.”

Now she did dare to reach out, her hand finding its way to Toni’s forehead. “You don’t feel hot.”

“Leave me alone, Nat. I need to sleep.”

The redhead’s expression fell. “Toni, sweetheart, come on…some fresh air will do you good.”

“You’re not my Mom, Natasha.” The girl’s voice was harder, almost cold. “I don’t need you to take care of me.”

Anger flared. After everything she’d done for this girl, that was her response? “You’re goddamn right I’m not,” Natasha snapped as she stood up. “So I don’t have to fucking coddle you. Get up. Now.”

Toni remained silent.

Without thought, Natasha gripped the blankets. As soon as the action registered, Toni began to twist around, opened her mouth to protest—but by then it was too late. Natasha yanked the duvet off.

“What the fuck?”

Toni’s sobs were her only response.

XxX

Natasha didn’t announce that she was coming. She didn’t knock on the door, simply stormed in. Why give Steve any warning? It wasn’t like he’d told her what was going on. He’d had the gall to lie to her. He’d lied to her for nearly a week, had taken Toni’s phone…

So no, Steve Rogers didn’t get a damn warning.  

“Out,” she barked at the dealers who were currently in a meeting with Steve.

They all scurried away. Everyone knew not to mess with the Widow.   

Steve, however, didn’t seem to have the same concern. His face twisted into annoyance and confusion, “Nat, what the hell—?”

Natasha balled up her hand. In the next moment, her fist made contact with his nose. She fucking hoped she broke it. The blond hadn’t been expecting it and fell back into his leather chair. She yanked him back up by his stupid silk tie and held a blade to his throat.

“You’re obviously pissed at me,” Steve noted, cool blue eyes taking her in.

“She’s not a dog, Steve,” Natasha hissed.

“Well, technically, Toni can be a little bitc—”

Nat hit him again.

Anger flashed in those baby blues. Natasha was too pissed to be afraid.

“Are you outta your goddaman _mind_?” she snapped, voice breaking on the last word. She could feel the grip she normally kept around her temper slipping. How _dare_ he? Natasha let Steve get away with a lotta shit…but _this_? This was too goddamn far.

“She’s _my_ wife. How I discipline her isn’t any of your business.”

Natasha used that stupid tie to bounce his head off the desk. Steve wasn’t bleeding anywhere except where her knife was poised at his neck. He’d probably cut himself worse shaving, but it wasn’t the weapon that was the true threat, but the one holding it. 

“You’re already on thin fucking ice, Rogers. She’s not a little girl. You don’t get to _discipline_ her.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed—the only indication that he was nervous…and she knew why. Because they both knew that what she said wasn’t technically true. Compared to them, she was a child. Toni Stark hadn’t gotten a chance to experience much of life before she was shackled to a gangster. She was a damn teenager. Steve was thinking with the wrong damn head—in Natasha’s not-so-humble opinion—and didn’t even notice.

“You pull shit like this again, and you’re going to regret it. Do you understand me?” she whispered, which was much more terrifying than if she had shouted.

Steve’s eyes took on a cruel glint she knew all-too-well. “Where’s the line, Nat?”

He was mocking her, the smug bastard. Because she’d let him do so many terrible things to Toni already. She stepped in when it looked like he might kill her, but not as often as Barney did, or even Clint, skittish and afraid as he was. Even Bruce had gotten in the way because he liked her. Nat…stayed in the shadows. Attempted to manipulate and placate Steve. Tried to make him see that he should go back to the way he was before with Toni.

What the hell good was she, anyway?

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But you cross it, and it’ll be around your neck.”

With that, she released him, and sauntered out.

     XxX

“Next time he does anything like that, you do whatever you can to get out and come get me. Do you understand?” Natasha asked firmly as she braided Toni’s hair. They were sitting on the front porch swing. Finally outside to get some fresh air just as she’d promised. The girl needed it after being held inside for so long.

“He always hurts me,” Toni pointed out weakly.

“This is different. You know it’s different,” Natasha returned, voice still firm, like the parent she swore she wasn’t. She turned Toni toward her gently, then lifted her chin just like she had all those years ago. “What’d I tell you about that, huh? Keep your chin up—”

“Even when they want to cut your throat,” Toni finished dutifully. “Never look weak.”

“That’s right.”

Silence hung in the air. Natasha could tell there was more Toni wanted to say, but she’d do it in her own time. The redhead went back to braiding.

After a few more minutes of Toni fiddling with the hem of her sundress, she finally spoke.

“I can’t do it, Nat. I can’t give him a baby. I don’t want to, and what if he…what if he hurts it?” Toni asked tearfully.

Natasha wrapped her arms around the girl and pulled her into her chest in an embrace.

“You have to,” she said simply. Lies wouldn’t help Toni now. “He’s going to keep trying until he does. Steve’s vain. You know that. He won’t hurt a baby that’s his. You see how he treats the younger recruits.” Well, was the short of it. Toni never seemed to qualify for the same treatment.  

Toni began to cry softly. Natasha didn’t call attention to it.

“But what I do know, is that your baby, whatever he or she may be, is going to be good, and kind, because they have you for a mother. You won’t let them grow up any other way, regardless of who their father is.” Natasha was sure of that. “And you have me, OK? You have people in your corner who will help you any way they can.”

Toni nodded to show she understood because she couldn’t speak through her hitched breaths.

“You’re the strongest out of all of us.” Natasha truly believed that. “And you’re gonna outlast us all.”

Natasha hoped the last part was as true as the first.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS for this chapter: implied non-con, and outright abuse.  
> Steve chains Toni to the bed after she tries to run away. He's trying to have a baby. Toni doesn't want one. 
> 
> Thanks as usual for all the love!


End file.
